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Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
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4:05 pm
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Today was a much better day. I still had to cover a class (of course) but I brought them all back to my room and let them watch The Perfect Storm. We're not supposed to take classes back to our room, but my feeling on it right now is that if anyone wants to discuss it with me they're more than welcome to, they'll just have to listen to an earfull from me about coverages.
Other than that things are pretty calm. The kids are watching Act One of Macbeth tomorrow, and today we discussed famous women who remind us of Lady Macbeth. Interestingly there were a few votes for Martha Stewart.
I'm sitting in the library in Salem waiting for my class to start, listening to a guy suck a lollipop, loudly. I'm trying hard to resist the urge to walk over to him and tell him there's no eating in the library. It's the teacher in me I guess.
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| Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
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4:44 pm - A mini vent
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I'm so tired today....all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch old Dawson's Creek reruns or something. Instead I have to read 140 soliloquies and make up a test for Friday. Sigh. All in all though, the third semester is off to a decent start. I dropped two kids from honors, so now I have 138 students (yippee!) and overall they're being very good. I had to cover for a class of terrors today though.
To save the district money our brain child of a union decided that teachers should act as unpaid subs and cover classes. Nice. So, for 45 minutes a day I get to police other classes where the kids have nothing to do and I have to decide whether to be good cop and let them do whatever the hell they want (easier for me unless or until things get ugly) or play bad cop and spend 45 minutes trying to get kids to sit in their seats and do work (when most of them have no work to do). It sucks. Today a group of kids was gambling (for money) in the back of the room. When I made them stop, two kids took off and the other students wouldn't give me their names.
Yesterday I had to call security because the kids wouldn't calm down (they were climbing on desks and throwing things). Friday a kid told me to f*ck off, two weeks ago a 20 year old sophomore just out of lockup threatened me, and the list goes on and on. And I don't even get paid for this. I hate our union. Hate them, hate them, hate them. And the worst part is, we're forced to join. If we don't pay union dues we have to pay the same amount into a "general fund" which does nothing (just like the union fund) but if you get sued or something, you're on your own. Lawsuits, as far as I can see, are about the only thing the unions do that's anything but destructive. Last month they managed to negotiate a "raise" that has me loosing $900 a year. Idiots.
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| Monday, January 31st, 2005
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4:10 pm - The house smells fresh like roses
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After weeks of life in the house o' stink, we finally got it all taken care of. Of course, in the meantime our propane company billed us for a service call that we made after they installed our new furnace wrong and flooded our basement. I was nice. I told them they should be happy that we were home when their mistake was "discovered" since otherwise they'd be paying for thousands of dollars worth of damage, rather than the mere few hundreds that they accidentally billed us.
To relax from the stress of the poopy, water filled home, Brian and I went cross country skiing yesterday at a park near the UNH campus. It was wonderful. Blue skies, warm weather. I still don't really have the hang of cross country, I was shuffling more than pushing off, but I had a great time and I'm not too sore today.
Today I dealt with fallout from second quarter report cards. Only a few tears, and one (justified) rant about a grade that I had accidentally inflated. The kid was supposed to get an 83 and I gave her a 93 by mistake. Her friends came to me after class, really pissed, to tell me that there's no way on earth that that kid deserved an A. They were right. I met with the girl after school and told her about the mistake. She's pissed, but I have the whole grade sheet from the quarter to back me up. She didn't do A work. Hell, she barely did B work. Still, I'm bracing for a call from mom. Ugh.
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| Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
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5:30 pm
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It's really a good thing I had today to deal with stuff. I spent a few hours trying to get someone to come out to deal with the House 'O Stink, and when I finally got the right contact person I was told that there's no way they could come today because of the weather. Sigh. But they will come tomorrow. In the meantime I got in touch with the head of our association who seems nice, and he filled me in with all kinds of gossip from the area, always a good thing.
Then I sent out a resume for a tutoring position here in town. I don't know if they need anyone, but it never hurts to put it out there. I also have an interview on Friday with a boutique in Exeter. I don't know if that's something I really feel like doing, but it may be an option until spring when restaurant work picks up a bit. The reality is, I need to have another job until Brian is done with school and actually I don't mind at all. My classes have calmed down and my students are going into the easier half of their year and I really do like being busy. Besides, with all the recent unexpected expenses, we really need the money. I wish my extra job could go toward a "fun" house update fund, but this stuff needs to be dealt with, and we're going to get through it as best we can.
I also talked to Bonnie today. It was interesting, in the 12 years that she and dad have been married I think I've spoken to her on the phone for less than ten minutes total. I talk to telemarketes more than I talk to her. But today when she answered we talked for a few minutes before she put my dad on. Then she asked him to give her the phone again so we could chat a bit. She talked about some of her plans for advocacy work on Michelle's behalf, and the things she wants me to do to help, but when we were done discussing that we just talked. She talked about Michelle and about their last conversation and she told me all about what's been going on these last two weeks. We ended up talking for over an hour. It felt good to have a real conversation with her. We've had such a difficult relationship for so many years but I really hope all of this can somehow bring us a bit closer.
Overall the two of them are doing okay, all things considered. Dad broke down the other day when he saw a little boy and girl Saylor and Wesley's ages in a store, and Bonnie has had some really horrible moments where she just can't get the image of the whole thing out of her mind; they won't ever get over this, especially Bonnie, but they'll find ways to cope with the difficult moments over time. Some of the details Bonnie told me were just heart breaking. I honestly don't know how anyone survives the death of a child and grandchildren. I really don't.
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6:43 am - A day off to deal with the house
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Another day, another snow fall. They cancelled school as I was putting my boots on this morning. I'm always happy about a snow day (until June that is when I'll start bitching about the fact that we're in school in July) but today I really needed one. The smell in the upstairs bathroom is getting worse (apparantly it's not just stinky, it's toxic and very flamable), and we haven't been able to reach anyone to help us with it. We can't just call a plumber because the septic is taken care of by our homeowners association, and I'm afraid that they'll only cover work that they authorize. So, I spent last night making calls and trying (in vain) to get a call back from someone, anyone, who can help with this. So, at least I have a day to deal with this stuff, and to start working on some things for my LAST TWO classes at Salem. I have to put together a teaching portfolio and keep working on my thesis.
Since it's the start of a new quarter I don't have any grading to do for the kids. It's a wonderful thing, I feel very decadant reading a book for pleasure, which is exactly what I plan to do for the next hour until businesses open (The book is Random Family, and it's great). The only problem with a cancellation in the morning is that I'm already wide awake and it's not even 7am yet. Maybe I'll get all kinds of things done today.
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| Monday, January 24th, 2005
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6:07 pm
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So last night Brian and I were playing scrabble at about 11pm when suddenly we looked at each other and said in unison "is that water?" We dropped everything and bolted downstairs. Sure enough, water was gushing out of the boiler. Again. The new boiler. We shut the water off and called our propane company (they should be on speed dial by now.) They came at midnight and found the problem. The new boiler/furnace had come from the manufacturer with a piece missing (an internal part of one of the pipes that's supposed to regulate water). He was "surprised" that it lasted that long before going. I was impressed that we were awake, since usually at 11pm on a Sunday night we'd have been asleep for a while. So, now the carpet down in that room has to come out (it was an ugly carpet anyway) but I'm paranoid about leaving the house for a weekend.
Cut to this morning: I got up a bit later than Brian and when I walked by the bathroom it smelled a bit. No big deal, I figured it was just Brian. Later in the morning I noticed that the smell hadn't gone away. I mentioned it to Brian and he admitted he had been smelling something, but he didn't want to say anything, just in case it was me. Nope. There's something going on with our septic. We have to track down the contact person for our homeowners association, since apparently that's part of what's covered by our dues (we HOPE!) We don't even know what the problem is - we're hoping it's something simple like a vent covered by snow. But knowing the way things have been going for us lately we'll probably need to replace every pipe in the house. Who knows. Cross your fingers that it's nothing major.
Oh, and even though Haverhill got a record 36.5 inches of snow with 7 foot snow drifts,we're open tomorrow. Bummer. I need a day to deal with the poopy house. :(
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| Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
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7:21 pm
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I know sooner or later everyone will get sick of my glee over all this snow (that is, if you're not already) but I have to say - I'm loving this. I have tomorrow off, and because I was convinced I'd have school I did everything I needed to do today. My grades are all in, I did my lesson planning for next week (most of it anyway) and I even made a handout for the kids with their homework assignments for the week on it. (It's a wonderful thing and it forces me to stay on top of the assignments because the kids are actually doing them.) That means tomorrow I can relax, read and maybe begin to work on my thesis.
Brian and I got cross country skis last weekend. Well, actually we had the skis, we just needed boots so we went and got some. There are trails behind our house so we may go out tomorrow since by then the snow will be packed down by snowmobiles. I figure since we have all this snow we may at least have some fun with it. Seriously though, I was built for New England, I get a rush every time I see a forecast with snowflakes on it :)
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| Friday, January 21st, 2005
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4:44 pm
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We have hot water! The boiler people just left, so we have hot water and real heat again. We also have a warranty, so at least we won't have to pay for a new boiler any time soon (cross your fingers that nothing else goes wrong for a while!)
The kids' grades closed today, which means I get to spend the weekend reading hundreds of make up assignments. Most of the kids failed an essay (because they all cheated rather than following the directions) and I let them do part of it over for partial credit, which will give some of them a passing grade, not a great grade, but a passing grade at least. Otherwise the whole senior class would be failing just about. The only kid I'm really nailing for cheating is the one who cut and pasted the entire summary of 1984 from the Cliff Notes. When I confronted him about it he said, "how stupid do you think I'd be to steal something from a place you could easily track down?" A good question. One answer: Too stupid to be in an honors class. I didn't say that, but I am taking him out of honors. Paperwork starts on Monday for that. He's also failing for the quarter. For a smart kid, he's pretty dumb. Esp. since an F is going to hurt him for a lot of colleges. Oh well.
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| Thursday, January 20th, 2005
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6:23 pm - Ugh.
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In the scope of what's been going on this past week it's not all that major, but it's still pretty crappy:
We came home Tuesday night to a suspiciously cold house. The temperature here was 4 degrees and falling fast, so we figured maybe the heater just wasn't keeping up. Brian went downstairs to check things out and found the boiler shooting water across the room. There was water everywhere; it wasn't a leak, it was a geyser. We turned off the water, of course worried that with the temperature so low outside we'd be looking at frozen pipes if we didn't do something soon. So, we called our propane company. It was after 11pm by then (I had been at a meeting in Salem so we were home late - Thank God we didn't decide to stay over at my mom's that night). The propane guy came over and told us that things looked "very bad". He had to take off to find us an industrial heater to keep the house warm and the pipes from freezing. That took another hour. By the time he came back we were exhausted and not all that hopeful about the outcome. As it turns out, we need a new boiler (sung to the tune of $5000). We haven't had hot water since Tuesday because we wanted to do some checking around on prices before committing to that much. But as it turns out, that's what propane boilers cost. It sucks. We had planned to take our next tax returns and put them aside in an "oh shit" fund "just in case", it never really occurred to us that the house would self-destruct so soon.
Tonight I boiled water on the stove for a bath and then we called the propane people to tell them to just install a new boiler. I mean, what's the choice, pretend we're on Colonial House?
And no, there's nothing we can do even though we just bought the house. We asked everyone, including our agent. Some sellers agencies have clauses that cover a 30 day warranty on the house, but ours didn't.
Ugh.
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| Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
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6:46 pm - Come on Snow!!! (Or at least a nice "wintery mix"
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See, now that I don't live in Mass anymore you guys can indulge my snow day obsession (right?). I know it's wrong, esp. since I got a snow day last week, but seriously, I really, really need another day to get caught up. Okay, I need a month, but I'll settle for just one more lousy day. But Murphy's Law being what it is the only way it will really do anything tonight is if I have all my work done, so I'm going to turn off the tv and grade yet another batch of Macbeth quizzes. Maybe I'll leave the weather channel on, just for inspiration....
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4:23 pm
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Another day entrenched in Macbeth. If my students liked Macbeth even a quarter of as much as I do we'd all be having fun right now. As it is I'm having a ball with the stuff and about a handful of the kids are on board too, the rest...well, let's just say it's not their thing. Today's big internal debate: Tell them what the drunken porter is really talking about in Act II (about how drinking "provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance") which would get them all interested but off on what would probably be a wholly inappropriate tangent, or not mention it at all and have them miss yet another of Shakespeare's good jokes. In the end I just couldn't draw attention to it. Turns out I made the right decision, since about 30 seconds after we finished that part my supervisor came in to "join" us. Really she wanted to see what we're up to since I forgot to turn in my lesson plans to her last week, and she's probably afraid that we're all watching movies or something. I can just imagine what she would have thought if she had walked in on a discussion about drunken sexual escapades. Instead the kids were discussing what a complete nut job Lady Macbeth is.
The kids had a pop quiz today and when the supervisor came in, they made her take it. She got a 60% (ugh.) The kids said that if the quiz was too hard for the supervisor of the English Department (who taught Macbeth for 7 years) it was too hard for them. I had to agree. One student pointed out that the only reason it was so hard was that I was trying to trick them because I was angry at them for not paying attention in class yesterday. Again, I had to agree. We used it as a jumping off point to discuss motivation, and at the end of the class I told them that I'd give them another quiz on Thursday that would be short answers and not as weirdly nit picky. I also told them that if they can get through the rest of Macbeth without whining that it's too hard or boring, I'd give them all a million extra points. I think they're beginning to figure out that much of my point structure is based on "Whose Line is it Anyway?".
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| Sunday, January 9th, 2005
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7:43 pm
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I'm back after a few weeks without internet access. We're moved into the new place and loving it. There are still boxes everywhere, but we're starting to figure out where things will go and the place is beginning to look like a real home. I met the neighbors across the street briefly when we first moved, they're our age and they seem very nice. The husband is an electrician and they have a little baby. Yesterday we got about 6 inches of snow and this morning I noticed that the neighbor had come over and snow blowed our driveway for us. It was one of those wonderful things that made us feel cozy and happy with the new neighborhood (even though we really haven't met many of our neighbors yet.)
In other news, graduate school is winding down. I just have my thesis and my clinical this semester, which I don't think will be all that difficult, since most of it will be done on my own and I can do a lot of checking in with my advisers via e-mail. I'm still a bit nervous about my grade in Shakespeare from last semester since I did a pretty crappy job on the final paper, but as long as mine wasn't the worst, I should be okay. I don't have to do great, but I'd hate to tank my grades this far into the whole thing.
As for high school...one word...ugh. I gave the kids a writing assignment (a glorified book report) that was due December 7th. A month later about 15 still haven't turned it in. Of the 130 or so who did do the assignment, more than half plagiarized it. They didn't even try to hide it. About half stole directly from Spark Notes, and the others lifted the kind of information that doctoral candidates would have a hard time deciphering. I'm pissed. The head of the department told me I can just give them all zeros, and that I don't have to trace it all back to a source that they stole from, but I don't think she has any idea that we're talking about close to 100 students. And with a zero on that assignment, none of them can pass this quarter. Not that they should, since in the real academic world they'd be expelled for doing what they did, but still, to fail close to half of the high school's seniors second quarter would be a major scandal, and I'm not sure I have it in me to fight that kind of fight. We're talking about kids not getting into college, which is fine with me (I'm pissed at them for cheating) but the reality of it is, the parents will be out for blood, and I'm not sure when push comes to shove I'll get the backing I need from the school. Still, it would piss me off to see them all get away with it, esp. since if they pull that crap next year in college there will be no "well, I understand that you didn't mean to do it".
In the meantime, I have a kid who hasn't handed in a single assignment this quarter. When I told him I'm going to start the paperwork to move him out of honors, he said, "just go ahead and try it. I won't be punished for not doing your inconsequential assignments." Nice. This is why I hate teaching the "entitled" kids. I'll take gang kids over lazy rich kids any day of the week.
Must go and relax for a bit now that we have luxuries like tv and internet again. :)
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| Sunday, December 26th, 2004
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11:44 pm - This is what I get for wishing for snow....
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Okay, joke's on me. I kept praying for a bizzard, and low and behold we got something like one. Nothing like getting a snow day when you're already on vacation. The really crappy part is that we're supposed to move on Tuesday and it looks like we may have to shovel out a foot of snow from two houses to do it. Ugh! I LOVE snow and this is just about the only time I wish we didn't have it. But it will work out. We're only about 1/4 of the way packed (if that) but we have Brian's old roomate and my brother here along with my mom helping out, so I have a feeling it will all get done. We're going to celebrate New Year's in the new place, which will be wonderful. I'm still a bit overwhelmed with the responsibility of being a homeowner, but I figure most people do it so it can't be all that impossible. Besides, it's the kind of fear that seems like good preperation for having kids ;)
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| Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
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10:43 pm - We're home owners!
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After months, and months, we finally closed! I'm excited, nervous, overwhelmed (by all the packing) and exhausted (haven't had much sleep the past few nights, just too many things to take care of for the holidays). BUT, we have a house!
My exams are done, all my in class classes at Salem are finished (just my clinical and my thesis to do), I'm almost halfway through with my first year of high school teaching (and the kids haven't done me in) AND we have a house. I feel like such a big kid!
Of course, now I'm nervous that something will happen right away and we'll be so wiped out from buying the place that we won't be able to fix whatever goes wrong, but you know what...it will be fine. I'm sure it will all turn out to be fine. So exciting!
Must go get some sleep though. I still have school all day tomorrow and right now I can barely think straight. More on home stuff soon.....
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| Sunday, December 19th, 2004
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4:43 pm - Please, please send us snow!
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I know, I'm probably in the minority here, but I really need it to dump snow tonight. I don't think it will, last I saw on the news we're not looking at much but honestly, that would be my Christmas miracle. I just finished my 30 page Shakespeare paper (where I argued that Rosalind, Celia, Hermia and Helena are not lesbians....not sure how I ended up choosing that as a topic). But now I have another paper to write for Wednesday (that I still haven't finished researching) and I have to come up with a food that I can cook and then evaluate using a critical approach for a party/final on Wednesday. (I was going to use a feminist approach to the hot dog, but that just seemed too obvious.) On top of that I haven't finished (or really started) Christmas shopping and I have 140 essays to grade before vacation, and another 140 coming in tomorrow. Oh, and supposedly we're really closing on the house Wednesday.
Seriously, I need snow. A hell of a lot of it, and right now please.
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| Friday, December 17th, 2004
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5:02 pm - Things I'm thankful for....
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1. Calling in sick yesterday so I could get a little bit of work done.
2. The fact that it's Friday, so I can get a bit more work done.
3. The fact that the in-laws live across the state (even though it means driving two hours on Christmas Eve and Two hours back on Christmas morning)
4. Nice parents. I had to call a parent today about his knucklehead child (who told me he doesn't feel he has to do homework because it's just busy work anyway and it shouldn't even count. Grr.) I HATE calling parents. I'm not even sure what feeling I could equate it too, maybe that of calling to ask someone on a date (odd analogy, but it's that sick in the pit of your stomach feeling). So far (knock on wood) I haven't had any issues with parents being mean, but there's always a first time. I called this boy's house and the dad answered. I told him about his son's behavior and he was mortified, supportive and helpful. We talked for about twenty minutes and at the end of the call he thanked me for keeping him informed about his son. Personally, I would think that parents would want to know about what was happening with their children, but again, you never know.
Of course, the kid was less than thrilled that I called dad. His comment, "I'm eighteen, and I can't believe you called my dad instead of talking to me." I reminded him that I did talk to him, at which time he informed me that since homework only counted for 10% of his grade he thought it was a waste of his time. I told him that being an adult means taking responsibility for his actions, which in his case means possibly failing English if he doesn't shape up. Being in high school means I get to call his dad to let him know before all hope of college is lost. "It's called a safety net" I told him, "and you should be very thankful that you still have one."
All in all it was a good day.
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| Wednesday, December 15th, 2004
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5:07 pm - You know you're sick when....
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Yesterday I woke up feeling terrible, but I just couldn't justify calling in sick. There was a time when if I had even the smallest cold I'd call in and rest, but teaching is different somehow. The kids always take a day to get back into the program after I'm out, and I feel insane guilt about leaving them (which is crazy, I know). So, I went to school, felt crappy, got very little done with the kids and went home feeling frustrated. Then I realized how many papers I have to correct, and how many of my own papers I have to write, and I just stood in the office and cried. By about 8pm last night I had convinced myself that I'm not cut out to be a teacher, and that this is all just too much for me.
But I went back in for more today. I have to say, the kids were wonderful. They tried to be good so I wouldn't have to raise my voice, and more than a few suggested that I put my head down on my desk (which I let them do when they aren't feeling well). Three offered to get me tea and one went to the nurse to get me tissues. I let my last period class watch the end of A Knights Tale (Great movie) because I couldn't think straight. So, I went to the office at the end of the day and called myself in sick for tomorrow.
The good news? Now I feel sort of, kind of better. The agenda for tomorrow:
1. Sleep in a little bit to knock out the rest of the cold.
2. Finish my monster Shakespeare Paper
3. Put the finishing touches on my other paper if there's time
4. Grade at least 50 essays so I'll only have 90 to do over the weekend.
5. Write and send Christmas cards
6. Throw in at least one load of laundry (I'm down to the "special occation" underware - the cute stuff that's uncomfortable as hell)
7. Pray hard for a Noreaster this weekend so I'll have a snowday on Monday when I can finish everything else I need to do. (Apparently wearing flannel pj's inside out and backward helps with the snow days - and old "teachers wive's tale")
I know that sounds like a lot, but I have a good feeling about tomorrow....besides, that snow storm is coming, I can just feel it in the air. ;) *putting on inside out pj's*
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| Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
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4:42 pm - Updates
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Man, this year has been exhausting. This teaching job is kicking my ass. I still love it but the workload is just insane. I talk to people who teach honors classes with ten students in them and I just want to cry. Today I was trying to get a group discussion going on the Wife Of Bath's Tale, it's a great story and the kids actually liked it, but when we started discussing it about ten kids went to sleep in the back, about fifteen more just looked bored and about fifteen were actively engaged in the discussion. I couldn't help but think how wonderful it would be to have classes of fifteen, or even twenty five students, instead of forty. It's just such a loss for them. They're all good kids, but there's just no way to keep a group that large engaged. Plus, trying to put together 140 progress reports today just wiped me out. Everyone who has all their work in got A's, most of the work got B's and the people missing projects got D's. These aren't their final grades, but I still wanted something more exact then the ball park figures I threw out there. Ugh.
House stuff - still in limbo. Dealing with mortgage company #3, sellers are still dealing with attorneys. I have a feeling it will go through in the end, but the process is getting really draining.
Grad school stuff - Almost done!!! I only have three more classes and then my classroom time will be over! I still have to write my thesis and do my clinical, but at least I won't be doing classroom work anymore. That's the good news, the bad news is that I still have two monster papers to write, both due Monday. No weekend for me.
Which brings me to my real issue. I feel like I've dropped off the face of the earth. I never have time to see my friends, hell, I never have time to call anyone, and I feel like I'm loosing touch with the "real" aspects of my life. Brian and I talk in the morning while we brush our teeth, and sometimes we don't talk again until tooth brush time that night. The relationship is still strong, but I feel like we're neglecting the important stuff while we try to organize everything else. I miss having a life.
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| Friday, December 3rd, 2004
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3:53 pm - Home Stuff...the never ending story...
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Things are still insane with the home purchase that just won't end. We're still under agreement but the sellers are going through all kinds of court related madness dealing with their bankruptcy. First they wanted to do Chapter 13 so they could sell the house, pay off debts and move on. But because they haven't owned their house for very long there were mortgage penalties if they sold. So, they ended up in a sort of catch 22 where if they allow the house to be foreclosed on they don't have to pay anything, but they also end up with that on their record, but if they avoid foreclosure they have to pay close to $13,000 to get out of their mortgage. They've been going back and forth with their lawyers, the courts etc and they keep asking us for extensions. For a while it was no big deal because we were having some issues with our mortgage company that we needed to work on (documents that they needed that were taking forever to come in - student loan stuff) but now things are looking decent on our end (fingers and toes crossed) and they're still screwing around with the terms of their bankruptcy. The scary thing is that if the home gets foreclosed on then the bank gets the title. That means if the tenants don't move they have to start the eviction process, which would take another god knows how long.
Brian has been really depressed about the whole thing. He quit his job here in town because we were supposed to move November 30th (well, first it was October 30, then November 18, then November 30, now it's "set" for December 17th) so now he's not working at night, and he's just sitting around trying to decide if we should pack or not. He just hasn't been his usual happy self. I guess I haven't either. I'm a big fan of Christmas, I love decorating and having company over, and this year we can't do any of that really, because we may be moving mid-month. It leaves me feeling like we're in limbo, and I just don't know what to do about it. We could give up on this house and move on, but we've already spent a lot on the inspection, appraisal etc. and the reality is, we probably wouldn't start looking again until January or later, so we may as well stick it out a bit longer. I just wish I knew what was going on with these loony sellers. I feel badly for them, they have two young boys and all this is happening right before Christmas, but I still wish things would just happen so we could move on with our lives one way or another. Maybe I'll do some little Christmas decorating just to make myself feel better. Candles or something....
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| Wednesday, December 1st, 2004
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4:28 pm
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I don't know what it is about having a short week last week, but this week feels like it's a month long. The kids have been pretty bad, complete with eye rolling, loud sighing and all those delightful carry overs from Middle School that they still haven't left behind in 12th Grade. I don't mind it so much when they're just talkative (which they always are) but I can't stand it when they get disrespectful. In truth though it's just a few of them, it's just that they tend to command too much attention.
Overall though I'm really loving high school, it's such a huge change from 7th grade. The only thing that's hard is that I feel like I'm missing some of the connection with the kids that I had last year. I only had 113 students last year (still a lot, but nothing compared to what I have now) and since I had them writing in journals every day I always knew what was going on with them. Now with so many it's hard to make that kind of connection, and I just don't really know most of them. One of my students dropped out after first quarter and when he came to have me sign off on his grades I realized that I had no real idea who he was. I don't even know if I'd recognize him on the street. I tried to ask him why he was leaving, but of course he'd have no reason to share that with me, I'm practically a stranger. It made me feel like I failed him somehow, even though at seventeen his life is a whole lot bigger than school and his priorities go far beyond English class. What's tough though is that last year I felt like I really made a difference for some of those kids, it felt important. This year is much easier emotionally (understatement of the century) but I feel like there's some kind of void there. Was I really meant to be a social worker or something? Why am I so drawn to the Gangsta Bears of the world? Here I have 12th Grade Honors classes and it's my two CP classes (one level down) that I really look forward to every day. They're challenging and spunky and they force me to pull out all my tricks to teach them. They swear a lot and sometimes there will be a blow up to deal with but they're there, really there, in a way that some of the more gifted kids just don't seem to be. The dynamics of classes really are interesting. (Of course, now that I think about it my two CP classes are much smaller than my honors classes, which may have a lot to do with it. It's tough to get much done when you have 41 kids in a room sitting on windowsills and heaters.)
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